Friday, August 29, 2008

Mm.. it has been some time. well, im glad to say im home on a thurs nite! :)
the 5th sem now. and finally i have a 4days week. 4days doesnt actually sounds great when u have frens ard u having 2 or 3 days week only, but it is good enough for me, after suffering mon-fri for the last 4 sems. i hope there are more nicer timetables coming along! :)

time passes so fast in uni. barely 10 more weeks to go, and i can say byebye to sem 1 and hello to lovely holidays. wad i can say is i feel totally different when i just started my 1st week of yrs 3 as compared to the last 2 yrs. no more was the orientation week or whatever, i faced stress during my 1st week! can u believe it? the professors are assuming we know or rather rmb everything we have learnt! all the cores way back to yr 1. and for the 1st time, i had a test on wk 3. being the unorganized me and having a totally goldfish memory, i went and dug out 'yellow' notes from my big red 'treasure' box which i had very 'nicely' dump all my notes inside. and while searching, i saw a freaking lizard! the next thin is, i dump all my notes back inside again. yiekks! :\

i faced problems sleeping at nite too. i cant slp til as late as 5am one nite after another. i simply do not know why but i guess i was too timid and disturbed by my own unnecessary imaginations. :X i cant help it and i even resort to reading my notes and doing my tutorials in order to make myself slp. now, i have a better idea. I shall run cuz im getting fatter too! i have to eat and eat non-stop and my current fav is BBQ chicken wings almost nightly (if i can). terrible. and for the first time since duno how freaking looooooong, i ran a 2.4km last nite. impressive that i can still survive but at a super slow pace. bahhh.

Aside, hall life has been quite disturbing and disgusting. of cuz i hv my fun here and there, but overall it is a place where i no longer feel the same for it. it is really dark and as a senior, i felt my limitation to help. and not to mention all the extreme ways to evict ppl out of hall. oh wells. that is hall system for u.

and im gg india during dec! :) looking forward to it. shall elaborate more next entry! :)
a side note: cant help feeling being made used of at times. compromising and accomodating to others' needs before mine. it is time i should learn to plan for myself first (not all the time laa). :)

1:09 AM

Sunday, August 3, 2008

A confession that shouldn exist at all.

i had enough.
let the invasion to my heart and mind stop.
at this very moment.
peace; certainty; the only is what i ask for now.

this simple request is all i ask for.
time taken is long enough.
if only god is able to grant the wish.
i wish for the me years ago.

no forced smiles, no forced actions.
no worries. no heartaches.
no superficiality. no faking.
just a contented me, with a simple heart.

the only constant in life is change.
and i can only learn to accept the reality.
whether we want it or not;
we all change.
and for the better or not,
we just have to learn to accept;
and learn how to let go.

3:10 PM