Friday, April 25, 2008

If you are able to live your life from scratch one more time, what will you change in your 'history'?

It has been a long journey...
I knew where/when/how/why it started..
but i do not know where/when/how/why it will end.

It contains..
It ouches..
It lingers..
It haunts...
But life still goes on. picking up the pieces

I would really really like to know the ending. or will it has any ending at all?
uarentdel-able

2:59 AM

Saturday, April 19, 2008

I have never feel so alone on a Friday night. and scared.


not to add on the miserable feeling of TRYing to mug (with little effort) my least favourite module and in a thunderstorm weather.


Everyone knows im scared of thundergod.


I wan to go home. :'(:'(:'(

2:16 AM

Friday, April 18, 2008

5 more dayys to end of exams. to end of year 2. to end of everything. to end of 2 yrs of hall life.
and to the start of the 3 months holiday! to the start of tripss i wana go. to the start of driving lessons days.

Yeahh. i have booked my basic theory test! it will be on the 27th and after which i wana chiong lessons alr! AR siao, are we still learning together? hehe :)

i cant believe everything is gona be over so soon. 2 lesson plans which drained my everything down and 1 paper down. now that all left is comm maths! i know nuts about programming can! grrrrr. the very sad thing is WE MAY NOT BE ROOMIES AGAIN!! im so duper duper sadddd. it is not the room that im very gian for. i will just miss being roomie with uuuuuu, bestest roomie! cant imagine life without u days and nights. and i have nv expected this to come sooner than i thought. haiii. hall system just sucks laaa! and im totally prepared for no room next yr. :((

dun wish to continue already. Back to mugging! JIAYOU ASG PEEPS who are conquering the horrible exams! everything gona be over soon! :)
In the midst of exams, i made something for a someone. i reali hope it will be appreciated. happy 21st birthday to you.

2:11 PM

Monday, April 14, 2008

ahhhhh!! i wana blog one but everything just got deleted away. *CRIES

I just wan to say im happy happy happy. yayness!! im all smiles. ((:

U are finally out of my life! (thou only temporary- IT will be here nxt nxt sem AGAIN (HORROR!) but im stil happy! i no longer need to think of u days and nite le, u sticky fren!

I think im high on adrenline for not sleeping for 26 hrs since 2pm ytd. hhaha. thou my 1st pp is like coming soon 3 days later and i have not yet started studying. Im still happy. Gosh, i have no idea how much this feels better than finishing exams. heee.

I wana extend my thankss to the following people who made this possible. without ur all, i would have alr died!! Thank you mo mo for accompanying me til wee hours everyday, having sleepless nite together, answering my doubts here and there! i duno what i would do without u. u are such a great moral support! I heartheartheart u!! :D

Thank you ge ge! i caused ur sleep to be short and u only complain a bit at times. u try so hard to make me happy everytime u see that im stressed. Im very grateful for that! u lighten my workload when i cant deal. U have pampered me! Heart u deep deep! :D

Thank you to ya tou! u will and have always been my bestest roomie in hall! thou u cant relate to the pain, u have been so encouraging and ever lovely! U help me to destress and u just being here is a comfort alr! i cant imagine u not being here! Love u deep deep! :D

and thank you to gong gong!! the ever-condusive room can only be opened under your command and without that, we couldnt have finish a single thing! u are being heart too! :D

Last but not least, Thankyou so much to the babes! aL and winnie! visiting in to msn just cuz of ur presence. Encouraging and motivating each other thru one window has been a reali reali comforting and great help!u all had been great! im so glad we had came to this final step! love ya muchie! :D

Ohh..stil got huang shang! wahh..couldn express how much thank yous i have to give him. owe him thisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss much. we would have been a goner without u! Thank youss for the macdonald, for the tan's speedy and efficient printer, for staying up just to print for us, for burning the cds, for the scanning, for the painting. oh my goddd. Ben Tan, we heart u many many!! :D

and lastly, a big thank you to me for hanging on till now. bleahhh :DDDDD

4:22 PM

Saturday, April 12, 2008

AHhhhh~!!! I need to SCREAMmmmmm!!

I'm so duper duper duper SIANnnnnnzzzzzzz ar!

Im not sick of studying. Cuz i hardly got time to studyy! Im sick of YOU! yes, YOU!! damn you, lesson planssssssssss!

It is barely 4 days to my first paper, and here i am still doing lesson plannsss. Worse, they are worth 60-70%! when can i get u out of my way?! I have already sacrificed my weekends, more than last 3 sems and i think i have types pages and pages of words non-stop for a weekkk!

AHHHHHHhhhh! Get me out. i'm like carrying such a huge burden here! cant eat well, cant do things well, cant sleep well. i'm thinking of u days and nights. The first and the last thing on my mind every single day!
PUIss you! :(:(:(:(:(:(

ps: sorry, this is such a disturbing post. i need to a place to vent everything out.

8:00 PM

Friday, April 4, 2008

I shouldn't be here blogging. Instead, i should be typing my lesson planssss away. Guilt explained.
I broke my own promise of books being my FIRST love for 3 weeks. If only, i could make it my ONLY love.
I shouldnt love sleeping. I shouldnt love eating. I shouldnt love day dreaming. I shouldnt love... ... and the list goes on and on.

watched finished the last episode of JUSTINSINGAPORE! aww.. so touching and a few parts were so sadd and there were a little bit of tears laa. haha. but well, realised that the vat went back to its original owner, coffee family in the end and they got together and carol ended up with nothing- back to square one. so nothing has exactly been changed except that those should die are dead and those like auntie auto got stroke. it has been heartwarming, makes me miss my family! :(

Not that i have not been going home (i have actually been going home more often this semester), just that the month of the year has come again. ultimate saddness and sianness. done describing.
After almost 4 semesters in uni, i still find myself struggling to cope with the exam stress here. it just plunges me down into darkness. cant cope, went crazy after dinner and i stil have yet to feel better. dun feel like doing anythin and i reali DIDNT. (SLAP ME) Just re-drew my timetable again and i seriously reali feel the urgency. 20 more days to go. too little time too many deadlines. being positive and negative is just a thin line of difference. Just like love and hate. :
Go and listen to this song "Fuck it & Fuck You Right Back [Eamon Vs. Frankee]". the song or rather the songs' lyrics are reali quite interesting. They are a counter version of each other. Is it really true that the more u love a person, the more u will hate that person?

was emo-ing a little bit this week. tried my best to shut away negative feelings. only a mere second before i sent it. never thought i would be misunderstood. everything was being read and mis-interpretated. i thought i found someone who understood me the most. more than me sometimes. but, NOTE the word: I "thought". -shut down for the time being-

sometimes i find myself in ironic situations. i can find no reason for me to even want to smile when im stuck in the library. but yet i find myself so over the moon at times when i just open my door and fell on my bed after a long day.

Contentment and happiness can be so simple yet complicated at the same time. It is a matter of how we want it.

think im falling sick... ... of everything.

2:01 AM